The adventures of Ashton (part 1)
Quarantine has got some people doing all kinds of crazy stuff since they are stuck at home. In our home, the person who's definitely going stir crazy from being at home all day has got to be my brother, Mr. Ashton Dominic Furtado. About 2ft tall but with a tongue that's about a million feet long, Ashton is the actual definition of an annoying brother. He mimics everything I say, he hides my books, he draws on my face when I sleep, and threathens to complain if I don't give him a big share of my goodies. Unfortunately there's not much I can do about it since this annoying imp is ten years younger than me. Which means as the youngest sibling he gets to play his 'baby' card.
Quarantine has got him acting weirder than usual. For once hes been acting and being all nice to me (totally not normal for him), trying to read(also not normal for him), falling down the stairs with his cycle, watching a show from 1988 called malgudi days and looking my mother straight in the eyes and saying "try me".
One 'normal' evening in the Furtado household, the sisters ( aka me and my sister, yup I've got a sister too, yes we share clothes and yes we do gang up on our little brother and bully him) woke up from their evening nap at 5:30.p.m. and decided to see what's so great about the Dalgona coffee and tried to make it themselves,( coz let's face it besides sleeping the only other thing to look forward to in this quarantine period is eating). Ashton who thinks eating and sleeping are for the faint of heart decided to do what he does best: roam around the house in search of something to do (or destroy).
Now since none of us are allowed to go out of the house Ashton has started riding his cycle in the house. If you've ever seen him drive you will agree with me when I say that, that child should not be given a driving license till he's at least 25. Why you may ask? Well, because at 6 he's already showing a tendency to rash drive. Once he's on his cycle, driving rules be damned. He rides his cycle as if he's competing at the Tour de France races and God help any innocent by- stander who happens to be in his path. So, given his tendency to rash drive he's been banned from riding said cycle in the house after causing numerous accidents involving both living(my toes) and non living (my mother's precious cutlery) things, even after a billion warnings.
I shouldn't be proud of this but Ashton is a lot like his elder sister (aka me), something his mother is not happy about. When he wants something he will annoy you till you give it to him. So as usual, he manages to annoy his father into taking him to the garden (the outside that is considered part of the inside of our house) with his cycle. Now you must know my mother has a few things in her life that she holds more dear than her children. At the top of this most loved list is her precious garden. She will spend hours tending to it, so you can imagine every available space is covered by some pots and plants. So logistically speaking not exactly suitable for riding a cycle. But no one's in the mood of telling Ashton that, not that it would matter if we did.
So while the sisters were busy making coffee and messing the kitchen at 5:45 in the evening, Ashton the great was riding in the garden under my dad's supervision. Like I mentioned before, Ashton rides like there is no tomorrow so this little guy starts riding full speed towards the steps like he always does. And as he approaches the steps, my mom's most loved child( no, not her human children who grew in her womb) but the one born in her heart, her beloved pet stray cat saunters right in front of his cycle.
Now this cat, is not only my mother's favourite child but also Ashton's. He loves this cat more than his sisters, so in order to save the cat he takes a turn and instead of applying the back brake he presses the front one and this stupid action sends Mr "too smart for his pants" flying (his words not mine) off the cycle onto the stairs with the said cycle falling right on top of him........
Now my dad, who was supposed to be supervising, sees all this but couldn't do anything. If it was my mom, we would have live footage of all this, but being a typical dad, he didn't have the presence of mind to use the phone in his hand and put it to some good use.
Once Ashton had fallen, my dad picked him up and asks if he was ok and this lunatic laughs. My dad doesn't know what to do, he knows that if he calls my mom she will scream, shout, probably cry and the chapati she is frying will burn and he will have to eat it so he calls the next best person: me.
Now when my dad first called me I said what!?!?!?!? and started grumbling but once I went I was glad I did cause the look on Ashton's face was priceless-he wasn't crying, he was still laughing but he was scared because.........drumroll please......he had managed to wreck one of my mother's precious flower pots.
I carried him to the washroom trying to hold my laughter and washed the few scratches he got (he's body is so bruised from everyday accidents I couldn't make out what was old and what was new ) when I asked him if he was ok he said he saw stars. Apparently our neighbor had star stickers on his window and that was the first thing this idiot saw when he fell.
Fulfilling my role as elder sibling, I threatned to tell my mother about the incident but he caught my mouth so hard and begged me not to tell. In hindsight I should have kept my mouth shut and used it as leverage but since quarantine has knocked the sense out of me and also because I wanted to see my mothers reaction I told her. Big Mistake!
She screamed and asked him if he was ok she hugged him and gave him some emotional talk about how she is the mother and she just wants him to be okay. And then I was rewarded for my selfless actions with a shouting for not telling her earlier and also landed up eating the burnt chappati.
In the end, all's well that ends well. The little terror is fine, the cycle is in perfect shape (unfortunately), the stupid cat still exists, and Ashton is permitted to once again ride the cycle in the house (god save my toes). Oh and we also discovered that Dalgona coffee is just cold coffee with a lot of extra effort.
Quarantine has got him acting weirder than usual. For once hes been acting and being all nice to me (totally not normal for him), trying to read(also not normal for him), falling down the stairs with his cycle, watching a show from 1988 called malgudi days and looking my mother straight in the eyes and saying "try me".
One 'normal' evening in the Furtado household, the sisters ( aka me and my sister, yup I've got a sister too, yes we share clothes and yes we do gang up on our little brother and bully him) woke up from their evening nap at 5:30.p.m. and decided to see what's so great about the Dalgona coffee and tried to make it themselves,( coz let's face it besides sleeping the only other thing to look forward to in this quarantine period is eating). Ashton who thinks eating and sleeping are for the faint of heart decided to do what he does best: roam around the house in search of something to do (or destroy).
Now since none of us are allowed to go out of the house Ashton has started riding his cycle in the house. If you've ever seen him drive you will agree with me when I say that, that child should not be given a driving license till he's at least 25. Why you may ask? Well, because at 6 he's already showing a tendency to rash drive. Once he's on his cycle, driving rules be damned. He rides his cycle as if he's competing at the Tour de France races and God help any innocent by- stander who happens to be in his path. So, given his tendency to rash drive he's been banned from riding said cycle in the house after causing numerous accidents involving both living(my toes) and non living (my mother's precious cutlery) things, even after a billion warnings.
I shouldn't be proud of this but Ashton is a lot like his elder sister (aka me), something his mother is not happy about. When he wants something he will annoy you till you give it to him. So as usual, he manages to annoy his father into taking him to the garden (the outside that is considered part of the inside of our house) with his cycle. Now you must know my mother has a few things in her life that she holds more dear than her children. At the top of this most loved list is her precious garden. She will spend hours tending to it, so you can imagine every available space is covered by some pots and plants. So logistically speaking not exactly suitable for riding a cycle. But no one's in the mood of telling Ashton that, not that it would matter if we did.
 |
| My mom's beloved garden |
So while the sisters were busy making coffee and messing the kitchen at 5:45 in the evening, Ashton the great was riding in the garden under my dad's supervision. Like I mentioned before, Ashton rides like there is no tomorrow so this little guy starts riding full speed towards the steps like he always does. And as he approaches the steps, my mom's most loved child( no, not her human children who grew in her womb) but the one born in her heart, her beloved pet stray cat saunters right in front of his cycle.
Now this cat, is not only my mother's favourite child but also Ashton's. He loves this cat more than his sisters, so in order to save the cat he takes a turn and instead of applying the back brake he presses the front one and this stupid action sends Mr "too smart for his pants" flying (his words not mine) off the cycle onto the stairs with the said cycle falling right on top of him........
 |
| The victim |
 |
| The culprit |
Now my dad, who was supposed to be supervising, sees all this but couldn't do anything. If it was my mom, we would have live footage of all this, but being a typical dad, he didn't have the presence of mind to use the phone in his hand and put it to some good use.
Once Ashton had fallen, my dad picked him up and asks if he was ok and this lunatic laughs. My dad doesn't know what to do, he knows that if he calls my mom she will scream, shout, probably cry and the chapati she is frying will burn and he will have to eat it so he calls the next best person: me.
Now when my dad first called me I said what!?!?!?!? and started grumbling but once I went I was glad I did cause the look on Ashton's face was priceless-he wasn't crying, he was still laughing but he was scared because.........drumroll please......he had managed to wreck one of my mother's precious flower pots.
I carried him to the washroom trying to hold my laughter and washed the few scratches he got (he's body is so bruised from everyday accidents I couldn't make out what was old and what was new ) when I asked him if he was ok he said he saw stars. Apparently our neighbor had star stickers on his window and that was the first thing this idiot saw when he fell.
Fulfilling my role as elder sibling, I threatned to tell my mother about the incident but he caught my mouth so hard and begged me not to tell. In hindsight I should have kept my mouth shut and used it as leverage but since quarantine has knocked the sense out of me and also because I wanted to see my mothers reaction I told her. Big Mistake!
She screamed and asked him if he was ok she hugged him and gave him some emotional talk about how she is the mother and she just wants him to be okay. And then I was rewarded for my selfless actions with a shouting for not telling her earlier and also landed up eating the burnt chappati.
In the end, all's well that ends well. The little terror is fine, the cycle is in perfect shape (unfortunately), the stupid cat still exists, and Ashton is permitted to once again ride the cycle in the house (god save my toes). Oh and we also discovered that Dalgona coffee is just cold coffee with a lot of extra effort.
Superb Mandy. Laughed all the way through.....
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